Brevity

This word came to me a month ago.  I am a teacher at heart and I enjoy public speaking.  Admittedly I am a student, not a master of Listening.  As I was listening to a friend speak at length about a topic he was passionate about, I saw something of myself in him and this word appeared before my eyes and I could not hear what he was saying after it appeared.  I am still chewing on the word "brevity".  It feels significant and heavy to me.  Like a burden I am suppose to carry.  "Speak simply and use as few words as possible" is what I feel the Spirit speak to me.   We recently had a retreat with our bible study, three of us were teaching.  I reduced my teaching down to a few points that fit on two bookmarks and allowed a time for listening to God in nature.  I was by far the shortest teaching session of the weekend.  Something about that was deeply gratifying, like God smiled on my effort to obey him.  My bible study group may have wondered "Is that all?"

I measure my words more carefully than before.  I do not regret or question whether "less is more"

Those who presume to be wise, or be teachers, or leaders assume a high position.  I don't know that as mortal men we are wise to go there.  We are too fallible, too susceptible to pride, too limited in vision, too deceived by what appears to be wisdom.  It is better to be ascribed as a teacher than to claim to be one.  It is better that we accept a lower role and let our fruits draw us higher.  Humility and service over pride and power.  It is best to speak the word of God and what the Spirit says and not add too much of our wisdom to what we teach, to not "seize authority".

Let someone else speak of your authority because of the fruit that is born from your service and humble spirit.

Guard your steps as you go to the house of God and draw near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools; for they do not know they are doing evil.  Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let your words be few. For the dream comes through much effort and the voice of a fool through many words."   
 ~ Ecclesiastes 5: 1-3

I'm Not Who I Was

Often I think about choices I have made at intersections in my life.  Some have been bad choices that have led me down detours and dead-ends or worse.  I don't know how many of my choices have been right nor even due to me (rather God dropped good things in my lap) but I have an idea about a few things I have done right.  A friend reminded me this week that we often compare our blooper reel to others highlight reel and get frustrated and depressed.

If I take back some of my choices, then a cascade of other things change- some of them very good.  No, I cannot give into regret and thoughts of changing the past.  Growth comes through going through, not by avoiding or going around the reality (and consequences) of our choices.

I do know I am not who I was.  God changed me, he changed my heart and I really did become a new creation, renewing my mind and my heart- my personality was radically altered but not perfect. My life since then has been a period of learning, examination and growth.

It's all a part of growing up...

"And the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was..."

(From I'm Not Who I Was by Brandon Heath)